When a club booker asks, “How much do you want?”

Hi Dave – The talent booker for a comedy club sent me the following: “How long is your routine and how much would you want to come to (city) to do a show?” I do 45 minutes to an hour, but on the money question I have no idea how to answer them. Obviously, I’d want enough to cover airfare. Between you and me, I’d stay with my grandmother who lives near the city. Any ideas? Thanks! – B.K.

How much’ya want?

Hey B.K. – I know the club you’re talking about. They’ve been around for years and have a solid reputation. Since you didn’t mention this being a one-night private event or corporate booking, I’m assuming they’re asking about a weekend at the club.

And right away, you’ve run into one of the oldest games in show business.

The talent booker asked you a very open-ended question:

“How much would you want?”

That puts the pressure entirely on you.

Meanwhile, the person asking already knows the going rate for openers, features, and headliners because he’s been booking and paying comedians for years. Clubs that operate every weekend know exactly what comics are worth in their market.

So why ask you?

Because there’s always the chance you’ll come in low just to get the booking.

That’s especially common with newer comedians. Most comics who are still building credits don’t want to scare off a club by quoting too high a number. They’re thinking:

“I just want to get in the door. I’ll negotiate more money later.”

And honestly, that’s understandable.

This is part of the ongoing push-and-pull between bookers and developing talent. Comics with major credits, television exposure, and audience-drawing power can often name their price. Newer comics usually can’t.

That’s simply the reality of the business.

Years ago, when I was booking talent for The Great Lakes Comedy Festival, I contacted representatives for two major television stars for theater appearances. These were household names with hit sitcoms and enormous popularity.

The fees I was quoted were enormous — far beyond the budget of a startup comedy festival. One package even included a private jet to fly the comedian in and out the same night.

And none of it was negotiable.

As long as I’m on TV I set my own price, man!

That’s what leverage looks like at the top level.

But for newer comedians and speakers, the key is learning how to ask better business questions instead of immediately throwing out a number.

Start with this:

“How many shows are you looking for me to do?”

That matters.

Five shows over a weekend is very different from one showcase appearance.

Then ask:

“What do you usually pay your first-time headliners, features, or openers?”

That’s a fair and professional question.

You should also do some research. If you know comedians who have worked the club — and you’re on good enough terms to ask — find out what the club typically pays.

Comedians don’t have a union. Information is often the only leverage performers have.

That said, be respectful. Some entertainers are private about money, and that’s understandable too. Don’t push if someone seems uncomfortable discussing it.

Ideally, the club would simply make an offer upfront:

“This is what we pay first-time features.”

That would make life easier for everyone.

But in the real world, bookers often want to see whether a comedian will undersell themselves first.

You’ll hear this same approach in the corporate, cruise, and college markets too. The difference is that established comedians in those worlds usually already have a set fee structure and know how to negotiate travel, hotel, meals, merchandise percentages, and other expenses.

Club work can be trickier because rates vary wildly depending on the venue, city, audience size, and your drawing power.

A comic consistently earning $1,000 a weekend has established a market value. A comic who’s still building credits may have less negotiating power — especially if the club is taking a chance on booking them for the first time.

That’s why you also have to look at the bigger picture.

Ask yourself:

  • Is this a strong credit for my resume?
  • Will I meet people who could help me get more work?
  • Is this an opportunity to expand into a new market?
  • Would I enjoy the trip personally?
  • Does staying with family reduce my expenses enough to make the deal worthwhile?

In your case, staying with your grandmother could actually become part of the negotiation.

If the club normally provides a hotel room, you might save them money by not needing one. The same goes for transportation if you can borrow a car while you’re there.

But here’s an important reality in today’s comedy world:

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A lot of clubs no longer cover airfare the way they once did.

That means you absolutely need to calculate your expenses before agreeing to anything. Know what the trip will realistically cost you. Then compare that number against whatever offer the club makes.

From there, the final question becomes simple:

“Is this worth it for me right now?”

Only you can answer that.

My advice is to stay professional, be honest, and avoid throwing out a random number too quickly. Ask what they’re offering first. Let the booker show his cards before you show yours.

Then negotiate from a position of information — not insecurity.

Thanks for reading and as always – keep laughing!!

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Never promise what you can’t deliver

Hey Dave I need some advice… although I think I already know the answer. A booker asked if I could do an hour clean for corporate and 90 minutes for cruises. I’ve got about 40 clean. I already hurt myself recently when someone asked if I could headline an hour and I admitted I was more comfortable featuring. I want to say yes – but I don’t want to disappoint them or damage my reputation. At the same time, I’m worried that if I say no, they won’t call me again. What do you think? – D.

Are you being honest?

Hey D. – You’re right – you do already know the answer. And so does every working comic and talent booker who’s been around the business for more than a few open mics. The only difference is experience makes it easier to trust that answer.

Here’s the reality: nobody in this business wants to lose an opportunity. But one of the fastest ways to do exactly that is by overpromising – or worse, flat-out misrepresenting – what you can deliver.

If a booker tells a client, “This comic can do a clean hour,” that’s not a suggestion. That’s the product being sold. And if you say you can deliver it, it had better be true.

Because if it’s not… everyone loses.

Now, there are exceptions. Some performers can stretch with crowd work and genuinely carry an hour without a fully written set. If you’ve done that successfully before, that’s part of your act.

It could be a bomb!

But if you haven’t? A high-paying corporate show or a first impression with a legitimate booker is not the place to experiment.

For experienced comics, this is obvious. For those coming up, it’s where temptation creeps in.

You’re thinking: If I say no, I might lose the opportunity. But here’s the flip side: if you say yes and don’t deliver, you won’t just lose this opportunity – you’ll likely lose future ones too.

So, what’s the move?

Tell the truth.

A legitimate booker will respect honesty far more than a shaky performance. If they reached out, it means they’re already interested in working with you. This isn’t a “one strike and you’re out” situation – it’s the beginning of a relationship.

Use it.

Let them know what you can do right now. Ask to be considered for shorter sets. Stay in touch. Most corporate shows don’t even need an hour – 30 to 45 minutes is often the sweet spot.

And when you’re ready to deliver a full hour – or 90 minutes – you circle back and let them know.

That’s how careers are built.

Because this is a career. And careers take time.

Developing a strong, clean act for corporate and cruise work doesn’t happen overnight. It takes stage time, discipline, and a clear understanding that there are no shortcuts in this business.

From the booker’s side, I can tell you this: there’s nothing worse than putting a performer on a show who doesn’t deliver. The client is unhappy. The relationship takes a hit. And that comic?

Let’s just say they’re not getting a call anytime soon.

And yes… I learned that the hard way.

Thanks for reading and as always – keep laughing!!

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Clean or Dirty? You’d better know your audience

Hi Dave – I have one question. As a new comedian does my material have to be clean? – J.N.

Have a decision to make!

Hey J.N. — you’re not alone. This question comes up all the time, and new comedians ask it for a good reason: it matters.

Here’s the short answer upfront (because I’m rarely accused of giving one):

There is no right or wrong answer.

Comedy is both a creative art and a business, but before either of those things matter, there’s one primary goal:

Be funny.

How you get there is completely up to you.

A very famous comedian once told me (and I included this in my book How To Be A Working Comic):

“If you swear in real life, you’re going to swear on stage.”

That makes sense. If those words are already part of who you are, they’ll naturally show up in your act. But if they aren’t—don’t add them because you think they’ll make you funny. Audiences can smell that a mile away, and “trying to be edgy” is never as funny as being honest.

There’s a market for everything. Whether you choose to work clean or adult is a personal decision.

But since you asked – and once again, I’ve never been known for short answers – let’s look at this from a different angle.

We’ll call it…

Your Audience

But will they laugh?

You specifically said new comedian, so let’s start there.

When you’re beginning, your job is simple:

Get stage time. Learn how to write. Learn how to perform. Learn how audiences respond.

Along the way, you’ll encounter different rooms, different crowds, and very different expectations.

  • Some comedians love late-night, beer-soaked club crowds.
    Others prefer corporate events, colleges, or private functions.
  • Right now, it’s probably too early to know which lane you’ll ultimately choose—and that’s okay. But eventually, this becomes both a creative and business decision, because different markets hire different kinds of comics.

So here’s the real question behind your question:

Who do you want your audience to be?

Every entertainer has to answer that—not just comedians. As a creative artist, who do you want to make laugh? And as a businessperson (yes, that’s you), how will you build an audience that supports your work?

When you’re starting out, that audience could be anyone: open mics, bar shows, fundraisers, showcases. What matters most is experience. You don’t become a working comic by rehearsing in your living room or performing for the family dog.

You get better by getting on stage.

  • If they laugh, it works.
  • If they don’t, it doesn’t.

Audiences are honest that way—which is why stage time is priceless.

https://youtu.be/mu1F3ck5ZgE?si=AuPP001eW_GOKONc

Know the Room

Would your audience want clean material or adult material?

That’s not a moral question. It’s a practical one.

I’ve coached Born Again Christian comics and the most X-rated acts you can imagine. I don’t care which direction someone chooses—as long as they’re clear about it and performing for the right audience.

  • But make no mistake: there are rules in this business.
  • And those rules are made by the people who hire comedians.
  • You can’t do X-rated material on network television. Cable and satellite radio allow more freedom—but even then, context matters. The Disney Channel and The Howard Stern Show aren’t fighting over the same talent pool.

So ask yourself:

  • Where do you want to perform?
  • Who do you want laughing?
  • Which markets excite you?

You can work dirty—just don’t do it in front of grandparents who brought their grandkids for a fun night out. And don’t expect your clean, church-friendly material to crush in a late-night dive bar full of people upset that the bartender turned off cage-match wrestling for a comedy show.

Get the picture?

Experience Changes Everything

Many experienced comics can work both clean and adult. Why? Because their jokes are funny on their own—not because of an F-bomb. They can adjust based on the room.

A perfect example: cruise ship comics.

They perform family-friendly shows before and after dinner, then switch gears later that night for adult-only crowds. Same comedian. Same brain. Two very different sets—sometimes just hours apart.

That kind of flexibility comes from experience.

And one more thing to keep in mind…

The people who hire comics for corporate events, banquets, and private functions pay far more than the beer-soaked guy booking a bar show. That’s why many working comics love corporate gigs.

On the other hand, an uncensored Netflix special or becoming a regular guest on a show like Stern can launch a career just as fast.

Different paths. Same requirement.

So… Clean or Dirty?

As a new comedian, here’s my advice:

Focus on writing funny material—material that works with or without a few choice words. Develop jokes that stand on their own. Learn how to adjust your delivery depending on the room.

Then ask yourself:

  • Would I rather perform at a business luncheon—or a late-night dive bar?

Neither answer is wrong. But knowing your audience will help you find the right one.

And that’s where real comedy careers begin.

Thanks for reading and as always – keep laughing!

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