Hey Dave – I had a great set last night, but one of the comedians who went on after me tore into me. It got really personal, and it honestly hurt. The people running the show asked if I wanted to go back on and get revenge, but I declined. Did I handle it the right way? – N.R.
Best revenge!
Hey N.R. – It sounds like the opening shot in a potential comedy war. Whether you want to crawl into the comedy trenches (a common comedy term — not mine) with this loudmouth depends on two things:
• Your onstage personality — your comic voice
• How you want to be seen onstage and offstage in this business
Maybe I’m naive, but after a few decades working with comedians, I’ve found this business to be far more supportive than people think. Sure, there are jerks — real pains in the butt — but I don’t know any career path that’s immune from that.
When this kind of behavior happens, it’s usually fueled by jealousy, ego, or a power trip. And here’s the irony: in my experience, the more power someone actually has in the business, the more supportive they tend to be of newer talent. That goes for comedians, bookers, and behind-the-scenes decision-makers.
Disbelief?
(I can practically feel the disbelief from some readers right now. This may turn into a future FAQ — I’ll let that thought marinate.)
For now, here’s the real issue:
Who are you onstage, and how do you want to be perceived by the people you work with — other comics and the people who hire them?
Comedians who are genuine friends tear into each other onstage all the time. That can be hilarious. At the NYC Improv, we could run a microphone into the men’s room and hold it over a flushing toilet when a friend’s joke bombed. The comic onstage ripped into us for the rest of the set, and everyone loved it.
- That’s playful.
- That’s earned.
- That’s mutual.
What you experienced sounds different.
SPECIAL EVENT – ORLANDO, FLORIDA!
Standup Comedy Workshop at The Orlando Funny Bone:
Saturdays – February 7, 14 and 28 from noon to 4 pm.
Performance at The Funny Bone – Wednesday, March 4 at 7 pm
Space limited – for details and to register visit COMEDYWORKSHOPS.
*
When it’s mean-spirited, there’s no upside. An unprovoked attack is almost always about making him look better at your expense — jealousy, ego, or both.
There are two ways to handle this, and the right choice depends on who you are.
If you’re the kind of comedian who can verbally dismantle someone — truly dismantle them — then by all means, go for it. A skilled insult comic doesn’t absorb cheap shots; they return them with interest. Think Nikki Glaser, Marc Maron, Wanda Sykes, Dave Attell, Jeff Ross. An insult comic worth their weight can turn a heckler — or a fellow comic — into roadkill.
If that’s you, next time: aim for the throat.
But if that’s not your voice — onstage or in life — then you absolutely did the right thing by walking away.
Let this guy burn his own reputation. Comics don’t want to work with someone known for cheap shots. And bookers? They want the least amount of drama possible. Speaking from experience as a booker, I’ve passed on very funny non-headliners simply because they were a pain to deal with.
If someone else is just as funny — and easier to work with — that’s who gets the gig. Every time.
In a perfect world, your only focus should be becoming a better comedian. If someone chasing the same goal doesn’t like you, you’re probably doing something right.
Want revenge?
Get more laughs.
That leads to more bookings.
Use this moment as fuel. If your work ethic and focus pay off, maybe someday this loudmouth will be parking cars outside a comedy club, ripping into his coworkers — while you’re inside headlining.
Make it happen.
Thanks for reading and as always – keep laughing!!
SPECIAL EVENT – ORLANDO, FLORIDA!
Standup Comedy Workshop at The Orlando Funny Bone:
Saturdays – February 7, 14 and 28 from noon to 4 pm.
Performance at The Funny Bone – Wednesday, March 4 at 7 pm
Space limited – for details and to register visit COMEDYWORKSHOPS.
*
Click on the banner below to sign up for Dave’s free newsletter.
