Never promise what you can’t deliver

Hey Dave I need some advice… although I think I already know the answer. A booker asked if I could do an hour clean for corporate and 90 minutes for cruises. I’ve got about 40 clean. I already hurt myself recently when someone asked if I could headline an hour and I admitted I was more comfortable featuring. I want to say yes – but I don’t want to disappoint them or damage my reputation. At the same time, I’m worried that if I say no, they won’t call me again. What do you think? – D.

Are you being honest?

Hey D. – You’re right – you do already know the answer. And so does every working comic and talent booker who’s been around the business for more than a few open mics. The only difference is experience makes it easier to trust that answer.

Here’s the reality: nobody in this business wants to lose an opportunity. But one of the fastest ways to do exactly that is by overpromising – or worse, flat-out misrepresenting – what you can deliver.

If a booker tells a client, “This comic can do a clean hour,” that’s not a suggestion. That’s the product being sold. And if you say you can deliver it, it had better be true.

Because if it’s not… everyone loses.

Now, there are exceptions. Some performers can stretch with crowd work and genuinely carry an hour without a fully written set. If you’ve done that successfully before, that’s part of your act.

It could be a bomb!

But if you haven’t? A high-paying corporate show or a first impression with a legitimate booker is not the place to experiment.

For experienced comics, this is obvious. For those coming up, it’s where temptation creeps in.

You’re thinking: If I say no, I might lose the opportunity. But here’s the flip side: if you say yes and don’t deliver, you won’t just lose this opportunity – you’ll likely lose future ones too.

So, what’s the move?

Tell the truth.

A legitimate booker will respect honesty far more than a shaky performance. If they reached out, it means they’re already interested in working with you. This isn’t a “one strike and you’re out” situation – it’s the beginning of a relationship.

Use it.

Let them know what you can do right now. Ask to be considered for shorter sets. Stay in touch. Most corporate shows don’t even need an hour – 30 to 45 minutes is often the sweet spot.

And when you’re ready to deliver a full hour – or 90 minutes – you circle back and let them know.

That’s how careers are built.

Because this is a career. And careers take time.

Developing a strong, clean act for corporate and cruise work doesn’t happen overnight. It takes stage time, discipline, and a clear understanding that there are no shortcuts in this business.

From the booker’s side, I can tell you this: there’s nothing worse than putting a performer on a show who doesn’t deliver. The client is unhappy. The relationship takes a hit. And that comic?

Let’s just say they’re not getting a call anytime soon.

And yes… I learned that the hard way.

Thanks for reading and as always – keep laughing!!

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Clean or Dirty? You’d better know your audience

Hi Dave – I have one question. As a new comedian does my material have to be clean? – J.N.

Have a decision to make!

Hey J.N. — you’re not alone. This question comes up all the time, and new comedians ask it for a good reason: it matters.

Here’s the short answer upfront (because I’m rarely accused of giving one):

There is no right or wrong answer.

Comedy is both a creative art and a business, but before either of those things matter, there’s one primary goal:

Be funny.

How you get there is completely up to you.

A very famous comedian once told me (and I included this in my book How To Be A Working Comic):

“If you swear in real life, you’re going to swear on stage.”

That makes sense. If those words are already part of who you are, they’ll naturally show up in your act. But if they aren’t—don’t add them because you think they’ll make you funny. Audiences can smell that a mile away, and “trying to be edgy” is never as funny as being honest.

There’s a market for everything. Whether you choose to work clean or adult is a personal decision.

But since you asked – and once again, I’ve never been known for short answers – let’s look at this from a different angle.

We’ll call it…

Your Audience

But will they laugh?

You specifically said new comedian, so let’s start there.

When you’re beginning, your job is simple:

Get stage time. Learn how to write. Learn how to perform. Learn how audiences respond.

Along the way, you’ll encounter different rooms, different crowds, and very different expectations.

  • Some comedians love late-night, beer-soaked club crowds.
    Others prefer corporate events, colleges, or private functions.
  • Right now, it’s probably too early to know which lane you’ll ultimately choose—and that’s okay. But eventually, this becomes both a creative and business decision, because different markets hire different kinds of comics.

So here’s the real question behind your question:

Who do you want your audience to be?

Every entertainer has to answer that—not just comedians. As a creative artist, who do you want to make laugh? And as a businessperson (yes, that’s you), how will you build an audience that supports your work?

When you’re starting out, that audience could be anyone: open mics, bar shows, fundraisers, showcases. What matters most is experience. You don’t become a working comic by rehearsing in your living room or performing for the family dog.

You get better by getting on stage.

  • If they laugh, it works.
  • If they don’t, it doesn’t.

Audiences are honest that way—which is why stage time is priceless.

https://youtu.be/mu1F3ck5ZgE?si=AuPP001eW_GOKONc

Know the Room

Would your audience want clean material or adult material?

That’s not a moral question. It’s a practical one.

I’ve coached Born Again Christian comics and the most X-rated acts you can imagine. I don’t care which direction someone chooses—as long as they’re clear about it and performing for the right audience.

  • But make no mistake: there are rules in this business.
  • And those rules are made by the people who hire comedians.
  • You can’t do X-rated material on network television. Cable and satellite radio allow more freedom—but even then, context matters. The Disney Channel and The Howard Stern Show aren’t fighting over the same talent pool.

So ask yourself:

  • Where do you want to perform?
  • Who do you want laughing?
  • Which markets excite you?

You can work dirty—just don’t do it in front of grandparents who brought their grandkids for a fun night out. And don’t expect your clean, church-friendly material to crush in a late-night dive bar full of people upset that the bartender turned off cage-match wrestling for a comedy show.

Get the picture?

Experience Changes Everything

Many experienced comics can work both clean and adult. Why? Because their jokes are funny on their own—not because of an F-bomb. They can adjust based on the room.

A perfect example: cruise ship comics.

They perform family-friendly shows before and after dinner, then switch gears later that night for adult-only crowds. Same comedian. Same brain. Two very different sets—sometimes just hours apart.

That kind of flexibility comes from experience.

And one more thing to keep in mind…

The people who hire comics for corporate events, banquets, and private functions pay far more than the beer-soaked guy booking a bar show. That’s why many working comics love corporate gigs.

On the other hand, an uncensored Netflix special or becoming a regular guest on a show like Stern can launch a career just as fast.

Different paths. Same requirement.

So… Clean or Dirty?

As a new comedian, here’s my advice:

Focus on writing funny material—material that works with or without a few choice words. Develop jokes that stand on their own. Learn how to adjust your delivery depending on the room.

Then ask yourself:

  • Would I rather perform at a business luncheon—or a late-night dive bar?

Neither answer is wrong. But knowing your audience will help you find the right one.

And that’s where real comedy careers begin.

Thanks for reading and as always – keep laughing!

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Humorous speakers – it’s more than telling jokes

Hi Dave – I do a lot of presentations through my job. These are specific to the industry, and I’d like to start speaking at related conferences. I’m not a stand-up comedian but know the importance of humor in getting my message across to an audience. Many of my friends think I am funny in an “I Love Lucy” kind of way… Which I suppose comes naturally. However, I am not sure how to release that side of me when I am giving a humorous presentation. Thanks – DB

Not funny!

Hey DB – When it comes to giving a humorous presentation – or performing as a comedian – the most important goal is to connect with your audience. That’s the bottom line. If you don’t connect, they won’t listen.

And one of the best ways to connect is to be yourself – to let your natural personality shine through.

Let me explain…

Working comics know that stand-up is more than just telling jokes. Anyone can tell a joke, but to be successful, you have to show who you are on stage. Comics, agents, and bookers call it your comedy voice. For speakers, I like to call it who you are on stage.

Look at legends like Rodney Dangerfield and Henny Youngman (and if you don’t know these guys, brush up on your comedy history). Their personalities made their material unforgettable. They could deliver quick, clever one-liners, but what really sold those jokes was them – their character, rhythm, and delivery.

Who? Me?

Fans could retell their jokes the next day at school or around the office water cooler, but the laughs were never quite the same. Why? Because they didn’t have Rodney’s hangdog face or Henny’s sharp timing. Their personalities made the jokes work.

Dangerfield’s humor came from his self-deprecating style – “I get no respect.”

Youngman was the wisecracker – “Take my wife… please!”

Without those distinct personalities, their jokes would have been forgettable.

The same goes for humorous speakers.

I often see speakers try to be “funny” by tossing in a random joke they found online or by reworking an old one to fit their topic. They think this makes them a humorous speaker – but it usually comes across as forced or phony.

Yeah – you!

I’ve seen it too many times: speakers hiding their natural personalities because they think being professional means being serious. That’s fine if your goal is to be strictly informational – but if you want to be memorable, engaging, and genuinely funny, you have to bring your real self to the stage.

So, your friends say you remind them of Lucille Ball. There’s truth in that. I’m sure you’re not trying to imitate Lucy – you just share some of her qualities naturally. That’s part of your charm, and it’s something you can use.

You don’t have to recreate her candy factory scene or hang off the side of a building to channel your inner Lucy. Her comedy wasn’t just slapstick – it was also about timing, expression, and physical energy. Maybe it’s the way you tell a story, use gestures, or react to a situation. Whatever it is, that’s your version of Lucy – and that’s what will connect with an audience.

Here’s the key:

Don’t tell jokes. Tell stories.

If you have stories or examples related to your topic that are naturally funny, lean into them. Use facial expressions, movement, and vocal variety. Keep it natural.

And most importantly – use your personality.

Think about how you talk with your friends. When something funny happens and you tell the story, you probably don’t plan the punchline – you just tell it in your own way, and people laugh. That’s your natural comedic rhythm.

Now imagine your audience as a room full of friends. Deliver your message with that same warmth, spontaneity, and humor. You’ll inform them and entertain them.

People remember speakers who make them feel something – especially laughter. They’ll forget the PowerPoint slides, but they’ll remember you.

That’s how you stand out from the competition.

It worked for Rodney, Henny, and Lucy – and it can work for you, too.

Thanks for reading and as always – keep laughing!!

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Open Mics for Corporate Comedians

Hey Dave – Last week you talked about ‘what is corporate comedy material.’ I would also like to learn about getting into doing comedy and humorous keynotes at corporate events. – E.M.

Not a late-night open mic audience!

Hey E.M. – Let’s pick up where we left off. Last time, I talked about the kind of material comedians need to develop to get hired for corporate events. But the bigger question is: how and where do you develop that kind of act?

Here’s the challenge: the type of material you’ll need—G to PG (max) and often with a business-related angle—doesn’t always work in the usual late-night, beer-soaked open mics. But that doesn’t matter, because those crowds aren’t your audience anyway.

Your real audience consists of business owners and event planners, and you’ll find them at morning, afternoon, and evening business or association meetings. Instead of bars at midnight, look for stage time at Rotary breakfasts, Knights of Columbus luncheons, and College Club dinners—just to name a few. Almost every town has groups like these, and they’re always looking for speakers or entertainers.

Bonus incentive!

These slots usually run anywhere from five to twenty minutes—often slotted between the entrée and dessert.

Here’s the key: treat these meetings like open mics. Don’t expect to get paid (at least not at first). The magic word for getting these spots is FREE. Offer to do a clean five-minute comedy set before their featured speaker, and you’re far less likely to hear the other magic word in comedy: NO.

In my own experience, I was almost never turned down. The only exception was a 90-year-old Rotary member in the Midwest who thought his club wasn’t interested in anything except insurance, fertilizer—or both. When I explained I spoke on humor and creativity, he sounded ready to have me arrested for being anti-American. I politely thanked him, called another Rotary club, said the word FREE, and got booked right away.

As you continue writing and testing material that works in this environment, aim for longer sets—up to the typical 20-minute featured program. From my experience, most organizers welcome a variety of speakers. After all, you can’t have insurance, fertilizer, or a combo of both every single week.

After doing these enough times—and enjoying more than my fair share of free breakfasts, lunches, and dinners—I had built a solid corporate program. From there, it was a matter of networking and promoting, and before long, I was booking paid gigs. That never would’ve happened if I had tried to shape my corporate act at late-night open mics.

So, if you’re serious about the corporate market, this is a proven way to get started. And, by the way, the advice is FREE. If you can make an audience laugh at 7:30 in the morning over scrambled eggs and coffee, you’ve got a real shot at making it in the corporate comedy and keynote world.

Thanks for reading and as always – keep laughing!

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What Is Considered Corporate Comedy Material?

Hi Dave – You’ve talked about working in the corporate market as a comedian or humorous speaker. What is considered corporate comedy material and what is not? – B.E.

Living on the edge?

Hey B.E. – That’s a great question, and honestly, one I don’t hear in such a general way. Usually it’s more specific, like “Is this particular joke okay for a corporate show?” But since you asked broadly, I’ll give you the broad answer first.

When it comes to corporate work, the golden rule is simple: work clean. I’ve said it many times before, and I’ll keep saying it because it’s true.

There’s been some debate on social media about whether dropping F-bombs will ever become acceptable at corporate functions. My opinion? The people saying that are a little F-bombed themselves. It’s not happening now, and it won’t anytime soon. Sure, there may be rare exceptions with an “edgy” company (think Comedy Central), but if you want steady work in the corporate market, clean material is the standard. That means no F-bombs, and no routines where the F-bomb is the punchline.

Now, let’s get into what corporate audiences do look for. A lot depends on the event and its theme.

Follow the rules.

From my experience as both a booking agent and a corporate speaker:

  • Comedians are often hired for holiday parties, retirement banquets, and award ceremonies. The material can cover almost anything—marriage, kids, sports, current events—as long as it’s clean and fits the mood. But it’s important to know the theme. If it’s a holiday party, the client might want some holiday references mixed in. At a retirement banquet, comics who can roast, ad-lib, and personalize a few jokes usually do well. The key is to keep the laughs lighthearted—no embarrassment, no hurt feelings.
  • Humorous speakers are different. They’re brought in for their message—stress relief, communication, networking, leadership, tech training, you name it. With humor, they become entertaining as well as informative. These speakers might give keynotes, run breakout sessions, or even full-day training workshops. Their material comes directly from their area of expertise, with comedy woven in to keep the audience engaged.

So, to put it simply:

  • Comedians = entertainment. Be funny, be clean, and tie in the event’s theme when needed.
  • Humorous speakers = infotainment. Deliver useful content, but with humor so it sticks.

That’s the general answer to your general question, B.E. If you’re serious about working the corporate market, start by keeping your act clean, know the event’s theme, and always make sure the CEO (or whoever signs the check) leaves happy.

Thanks for reading and as always – keep laughing!

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