You’ll Never Work in This Town Again

Hi Dave – I’m fairly new to this newsletter, so I don’t know if you’ve addressed this topic, but I think it could be a good one. How to prepare yourself in the event of a car breakdown and what to do when it does. I was driving to a gig last night and it happened… with not a town in sight. I drove the car onto an exit, ended up following the ramp around and saw a gas station in the distance. It just so happened that a couple cops pulled in after me and I told them what was going on. One of them worked on cars and luckily, he fixed it up. I have no idea what I would have done otherwise! – J.N.

Hey J.N. – Nope, we haven’t talked about this topic, so thanks for asking. I don’t have any solutions about what to do in your automotive case, so I’m glad to hear you have a police officer for a fairy godfather. As long as you made it TO the gig, what happened during your efforts in getting there could be potential comedy material.

But since you brought it up, let’s talk about the importance of getting TO gigs…

Unless you’re near death, someone near and dear to you is near death, or you have this important stipulation – “Due to an act of God” – written into your contract (and you should) you never miss a paid performance. What the heck – I’ll say it – you also don’t want to miss an un-paid performance if you’ve promised a booker, club owner or event organizer you’ll be there. Either way the talent booker is planning on having you perform and if you’re a no-show, it could be a definite bridge-burner when it comes to future gigs through that booker (and other bookers that hear about your unreliable reputation).

It’s your career and it’s a job.

Get there!

So, before you leave, make sure your car has gas and is tuned-up, your flight is not over-booked (and if so, arrive early so you’re not the passenger getting bumped), or have an updated public transportation schedule. Unless you can show a photo of you in a hospital or standing next to your totaled doublewide house trailer after a tornado, you’d better show up and be ready to perform. If not, don’t expect a second chance re-booking from the same person.

Case in point…

When I was the talent coordinator at The Los Angeles Improv, one of my favorite NYC comedians was flying out for a television audition. She’ll remain nameless because she’s quite famous and I consider her to be a friend in this business and would never write anything to make you think less of her. She called and I told her to come to the club and do a set. Then I mentioned my offer to the person in charge of the showroom (also nameless because I like to hang onto my friends) and he said no way. He liked her, but she had stood him up a few years earlier by canceling an important benefit performance at the last minute.

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And without a near death photo or evidence of a destroyed doublewide, she had committed the worse sin in the business. So instead of watching my friend on stage at The Improv, we met for lunch at a deli near The Laugh Factory.

Being a no-show is worse than ignoring the light while on stage and going over your performance time.

Remember that.

From the business side of the comedy biz, you don’t miss gigs for any reasons less than the ones mentioned above. It’s a business for both you and the club (or event) and you need to treat it that way. And in case you haven’t figured this out, all talent bookers want to work with professionals.

If you don’t handle your career like a professional – then don’t bother contacting professional talent bookers.

Another case in point. In fact, here are a couple…

Several years ago, I was booking a club about an hour outside Cleveland. There was an aspiring comic that came through my comedy workshop who really had promise – decent material and good stage presence. She just needed stage time to get better. I had given her a few MC gigs, she did well – and since this club was only running a two person show, it was a good chance for her to do a longer set.

So even though she didn’t have a lot of experience, I told the owner she would be great, and we booked her for the paying gig. It wasn’t so great when the club owner called me about 15 minutes after the show was supposed to start and asked when she would arrive. I called the phone number I had for her – and never heard back. I worried that she was stuck on the highway, got lost or suffered a near death (or worse) experience.

The show went on with only one comedian, but I lost a chunk of my booking fee since half the talent never got there.

The next day she called and said she had gotten my message. She couldn’t call back because she had taken a waitress job and was working the night of the show. She had given us no warning and no previous calls asking, “Can you find someone else?” She just never showed up for the gig. BUT (if you can believe this) she then asked if I could re-schedule her for the same club when she had a day off.

That was the last time we spoke.

Another example? Okay…

I was representing a comedian in the college market. He had successfully showcased through NACA (National Association for Campus Activities) and as a result I had scheduled him for several good paying gigs within driving distance of his home in Ohio. One was a Friday night at a campus in Pennsylvania. Not long before the show was scheduled to start, he called to say he was hopelessly lost.

I would think – and maybe this is just me (I say sarcastically), but if I was supposed to drive to a good paying gig, an updated phone, GPS, or even a road map would be good business items to invest in. He told me he THOUGHT he knew ABOUT where the college was – so just headed in that direction hoping to see signs to help him find it.

He missed the show and again, I missed a booking fee. I also lost a hard-earned business relationship with that college. Do you think I ever booked him again? Yeah, I’m laughing (sarcastically) that you would even consider that option…

So, this week’s message is simple. Don’t miss a gig if you plan to work for that talent booker again in the future. And if you do, just hope he sees you on the television news explaining how the tornado interrupted your rendezvous with the aliens who’ve been visiting the trailer park – and were supposed to give you a lift to your comedy gig. If you’re lucky, he might buy that excuse – or find it entertaining enough to give you a rare second chance.

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Thanks for reading and as always – keep laughing!!